Thursday, July 15, 2010

TEETH (2007)

DIRECTOR: Mitchell Lichtenstein
STARRING: Jess Weixler, John Hensley

In spite of my feminist tendencies I bear no ill will toward the male sex. Most of the time I like them just fine. That being said, however, Teeth has got to be one of the most satisfying — albeit disgusting — pieces of filmmaking I’ve seen in recent memory. What that says about me, I don’t know, but we can overlook that for now.

Teeth tells the story of Dawn O’Keefe (Weixler), the embodiment of every parent’s dream: she’s sweet, pretty, and an advocate for her school’s abstinence group. But even as she proudly wears her promise ring, Dawn’s budding sexuality is beginning to overshadow everything she clings to — that is, a deep fear of her body and womanhood. To make matters worse, her waste-of-space stepbrother Brad (Hensley) is harboring a lifelong “love” for her, and every teenage boy (or man, for that matter) she comes into contact with seems to want a sweet little piece of her. It isn’t until she discovers a secret weapon between her legs that Dawn begins to understand that she may have the upper hand.

This is a film that probably pissed a lot of men off. I can just imagine guys sitting in the theatre, shrinking down in their seats and clinging to their junk as they witness the images on the screen. That aspect is what made this so good: guts. I haven’t seen many films that are so daring to go to that edge where people could only be disgusted, only be uncomfortable. We aren’t supposed to talk about female sexuality or vengeance, unless it’s in a familiar context. Teeth, however, hits them right where it hurts. You can guess where exactly.

In addition to its statement about violence against women, Teeth’s strength and genuineness (I guess you could say) lies in its understanding of where that violence stems from. There is a brilliant scene where Dawn sits through a sex ed class, first learning in detail about the penis from a diagram in her textbook; when she turns her page, however, there is a big sticker covering the vagina diagram and the teacher can’t even say the word. We are taught that women are scary, and fear can only breed violence and disrespect. The film, of course, takes it to the extreme by saying that yes, we are scary—imagine what we’re packing in there!

I applaud this film. Heavily. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

FINAL GRADE: A-

Thursday, July 1, 2010

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE (2010)

DIRECTOR: David Slade
STARRING: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner

I’m going to admit something I’m not very proud of: when I first started reading the Twilight books, I ate them up. I loved ’em. Studying for my finals became a distant second to consuming them within a two-week period and I thought Rob Pattinson was a fox. Since then I’ve become a feminist and graduated with a degree in English and writing, so you can imagine how deep my shame runs. That being said, I’m well aware that liking these books is only okay as long as you don’t take them seriously, and I also want to point out the fact that I thought vampires were sexy way back in middle school when I discovered Anne Rice’s Lestat — does that give me any credibility at all?

Anyway, back to the movie.

Eclipse is the third installment of the series, following Bella (Stewart) and her intensely co-dependent relationship with stud vampire Edward (Pattinson). They’ve gone through a lot together — other vampires desperately wanting to eat her, Edward nearly committing suicide in Italy because of a little misunderstanding, and the like. Recently, however, what Bella is really having a hard time with is the fact that in spite of her all-consuming love for Edward, she also is in love with her werewolf friend Jacob (Lautner). To make matters worse, Edward and Jacob don’t get along, not only because they’re in competition but also because they are natural enemies. And, on top of everything, Victoria (a.k.a. hot evil redhead vamp) is still on Bella’s trail, determined to kill her as revenge against Edward. Needless to say, Edward and Jacob may have to get along for the safety of their delicate ladylove...

Let me be honest here. I know these movies are crap — anybody who actually believes otherwise is in denial. However, I have to commend Eclipse for being a considerably higher grade of crap than the first two. There aren’t nearly as many cringe-worthy moments, no music-video-esque slow motion montages, and the sexual tension and romance going on actually feels somewhat genuine. I would like to believe that Kristen Stewart has the potential to be a good actress (see my review for The Runaways) and it seems that as Bella she is gradually evolving past the obnoxious, stuttering mess that I can’t stand. Her character seems to be slowly sneaking towards having a spine. Of course, Rob Pattinson is still pretty and bland, sleepwalking through what could have been an interesting role, but I won’t hold that against him (but please, can’t he tweeze just a bit?).

I guess I have to say that I was actually a little bit impressed. Not impressed in that it was a good movie, but that it was a better one. It managed to improve in a lot of ways. Let’s just say I’m extremely curious to see how they pull off movie #4 — anyone who’s read it knows exactly what I’m talking about.

FINAL GRADE: C+